Being Present

June 25, 2010

I recently visited my very busy and dear friend Heidi, who is a full time instructional coach, wife to a wonderful man and mom to two young children. Last time I was in her home, her vivacious, gregarious, attention craving three year old daughter made visiting both fun and a bit of a challenge. This time however, we were easily able to catch up and share what's going on in our lives. Heidi pointed out that her youngest child was a bit easier than she had been and I couldn't help but ask, "Why?" Assuming the answer would be 'a new stage' I was struck by the response, "I believe her change is directly related to my decision to be more present."

What struck me most about Heidi's comment was the fact that she was not talking about merely spending more time with her young daughter. Instead, Heidi had consciously determined to focus all her attention on her daughter when they were together. At breakfast, instead of reading the paper, Heidi converses and makes eye contact. Instead of sending her little one off to get ready for school while she tries to catch up on e-mail, Heidi assists and chats about whatever is on her daughters mind. It was obvious that getting what she needed from her mommy made her more content and less needy when it wasn't her time with mommy.

Since visiting with Heidi, I just can't shake the idea of being present. We teachers tend to be gifted at multi-tasking. How often are we conferring with one child, but thinking about what we need to do next? I am determined to do a better job of being present in the classroom. And as I write that, I have to chuckle...because thinking about the next school year has already removed me from being present right now.

So, if my goal is to focus on being present, what does that look like during the summer? Maybe it means that when I'm walking the dog I notice the blue in the sky, the vibrant green of new growth and the birds singing nearby. Maybe I linger at the dinner table to make conversation and eye contact with my husband instead of jumping up to get the dishes done. Or maybe I indulge in the luxury of savoring whatever professional or fiction book I am reading, rather than skimming through the text.

So how are you at being present? Maybe, like me, you'll intentionally focus on this skill and find it turns out to be a present not only for others, but for you as well.

Thanks Heidi!