Handling Hard Moments

Samantha Behne

Recently, I walked into school and immediately felt the weight in the air. Teachers were hugging, eyes were red, voices were quiet. I quickly learned why: A former student had passed away unexpectedly the night before. He was only 12.

I never had the chance to teach him, but his cousin is in my class now, and my heart ached for everyone who knew him. It’s not the way anyone wants to start the day. It’s one of those moments when words feel useless, and no matter what you say, it won’t fix what’s broken.

And if I’m being honest? I never know what to say or do in situations like this. I fumble, I overthink, I worry about saying the wrong thing. But that day, I learned something important: While we can’t take away the pain, there are three things we can do.

1. Be Present
   You don’t have to have the perfect words. Sometimes, just showing up and being there is enough. A simple “I’m so sorry” or “I’m here for you” speaks more loudly than we realize. Sitting in the quiet with someone who is hurting can mean more than trying to fill the silence with words.
2. Offer Small Comforts
   Grief is heavy, and even the smallest kindness can help carry the load. A warm smile, a gentle pat on the shoulder, an extra few minutes of recess, or even just handing someone a tissue—all of these say, “I see you, and I care.”
3. Give Space for Feelings
   There’s no “right” way to grieve. Some kids might want to talk, some might want to stay busy, and some might need to step away for a bit. The same goes for adults. Letting people process their emotions in their own way, without judgment, is one of the best gifts we can offer.

Moments like these are a reminder that we don’t have to have the answers to be helpful. We don’t have to fix things to be supportive. We just have to be there. Because sometimes, that’s enough.