The Key to Communication

July 4, 2014

I recently read an anonymous quote that said, "The biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply." This quote really caught my attention and made me think about my conversations and my role as a listener. Am I truly listening when my students, their parents, and my colleagues are talking with me? Am I focused on what they are saying and what they want me to understand? When our students have something to tell us that is important to them, it should be important to us. By listening to understand, we communicate that we care.

A colleague of mine often replies to her students, "What I heard you say is . . . " Or, if she doesn't understand what was said, she replies with, "Help me understand . . ." I thought this was a bit elementary at first, but then I saw the value in it. She learned a lot from her students, truly understanding what they had to say, and her students became much better at communicating.

Now, when I have a conversation with someone, I focus on talking with them and not to them, so I am focused on the conversation and gain understanding.