Not Another Gimmick

Congrats! You made the cut . . .

That was the subject line of a recent email in my inbox. As gullible as it might sound, my initial thought was, Wow! Wayfair chose me for an extra discount?! As I clicked on the email, I quickly realized that Wayfair does not value me any more than any other potential customer. I have never purchased anything off their site, and I am not getting anything exclusive. They have a clever marketing team—good for them—but they weren’t offering anything special or unique to me.

The email made me think a lot about the conversations I have with my students. I can be just as clever as Wayfair when it comes to complimenting a reader or a writer. The problem is, my students are incredibly intelligent, and they know if my compliment is genuine and unique. Even a kindergartner knows the difference between a sincere compliment and a fake one.

I build trust every time I follow through with a thoughtful comment. Below are a few examples of compliments that sound good but are also truthful:

“Emma! Look at the book you’re reading . . . This is the longest book you have ever read! I remember that in the beginning of the year you told me you were not a reader, but look at you!

“Hey Beau, I noticed that you are a loyal reader. Every time I sit down to confer with you, you are always reading the same author.”

“Sienna, you have sticky notes at the end of your chapters. It looks like you are following through on your commitment to stop and jot the who and the what at the end of each chapter. That will help you remember what you read!”

“Xander, you just read a really tricky word like it was no big deal! Wow! That was incredible!”

Many of us will be starting the year virtually, and even teachers who begin in a classroom will have limitations. We can’t touch a child’s shoulder, and our smiles will probably be covered with masks. But we can connect, we can build trust, we can confer—we just have to avoid a sales gimmick and speak truthfully. Our kids are counting on us, and we can lay a foundation of trust by complimenting truthfully.

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