Building Relationships

Students work hardest for teachers they like and respect.  When I’m asked, “How do I get the students to like and respect me?” my immediate response is, “Like and respect them first.”
—Dr. Debbie Silver

In Karen Shannon’s third-grade class, students know they are special. She works hard to build a relationship with each student. These special relationships create a bond between teacher and child that result in mutual trust and fondness. The process of building relationships takes time.  It begins the very first day of school and continues through the last day. 

One of the things Karen does to continue building relationships between her students and herself, even as the school year is drawing to a close, is called Teacher for a Day. During the last month of school, each child is given the opportunity to be the teacher for a day. Karen has a special desk in the front of the classroom on which she clearly posts the Teacher of the Day's name. She then trusts the students to lead class discussions, write on the board, create the anchor charts, and run the basic operations of the class for the day. Each and every student is given this opportunity, and she has yet to be let down as students rise to the occasion knowing their teacher trusts them to do the job well. It cements the student's knowledge of how much she trusts them, and builds fond memories that will likely last a lifetime.

As the school year draws to a close, it is a perfect time to reflect on the relationship building that has taken place in our classrooms over the course of the year. This reflective process allows us to think about the year to come. As we consider the many ways we have worked on building relationships and trust over the course of the year, we jot down what has gone well and what we want to change. We keep track of this thinking in a document on our computer, by posting a note on our bulletin board for when we return from the summer, by taping a note to our computer, or by writing in a reflection notebook.  By jotting our ideas down when they are still fresh, we are able to pull out our notes before school begins, allowing us to replicate and build on what went well, and remind ourselves of what we want to change. 

Here are some reflection questions to ponder:

• At the launch of the school year, what activities jump-started relationship building with students? 
• Is there a specific student with whom I didn't feel I had a strong relationship with?
  • What are two reasons that may have happened? 
  • What are two specific things I could have done differently to enhance the relationship? 
• What did the students enjoy most about the year? Ask them. Their responses provide great insight into what creates and builds on these relationships.